For more on mystification, see this link:
http://www.marlier.pro/documents/FamilyTherapy.html
Important quotes from the article:
“Mystification is a way of masking or disguising what is taking place between family members. Mystification refers to a process that occurs when one or more members of an organization fail to understand the meaning and or purpose of a communication from another member, usually a leader. Similarly to the other concepts explained here, this can take place in any organization, not only in families. The communication is often deliberately vague and made vague in order often places the mystified person in a ‘one-down’ position, which disempowers them and fails to produce a clear message.”
“An expert in mystification can use it on every occasion, make you wonder if you are sane, and imbalance you.”
This is also one of the insidious machinations of audism.
Transcript:
Hello. I’m Adrean Clark, and this vlog is “The Angry Deaf.” I’ve been thinking this week about emotions, especially anger. I’ve noticed that some Deaf people who speak out on issues are labelled as “angry.” Are they always angry? No, but where does that emotional burst come from?
The word “mystification” comes to mind. It is often used in family therapy. For example, late at night, a parent may tell their child, “You’re tired. Go to bed!” The child doesn’t actually feel tired and protests. In this situation the parent has put their thoughts and feelings onto the child, disregarding the child’s reality.
This also applies to deaf people. Often with mainstreamed deaf children, parents (and educators, doctors, etc.) tell the children that speaking and reading English has primary importance. They tell the children not to be like the other “lesser” deaf people who sign. The child gets cochlear implants and oral training in the name of being educated and a “success.”
That twists reality. It is a terrible thing.
I understand why deaf people, as they become older, realize what their parents and others said don’t match with reality and become very angry. Some people never come to that point, their emotional development stunted. Some may recover. Still others repeat the cycle they learned from parents, educators, and the like.
Now that we’ve recognized mystification, we can catch its subtle machinations. We can catch it in action and change for the better.
Interesting word.
That’s denial of the other person’s reality–imposing one’s interpretation or a false reality upon the other’s experience and denying that person the right to his own understanding. It makes the other a lesser person, dominated or manipulated, and most healthy people would get angry over it.
I guess the word “mystification” is used because it confuses the other person–he knows something is wrong, but not why.
We Deaf get labeled as “angry” because we are frustrated… frustrated when we try to communicate with Hearing that don’t sign, frustrated when we don’t understand what Hearing are saying, and we get left out, frustrated at seeing Deaf children suffer unecessary surgery and speech training, frustrated at the continual blocking of our attempts to educate and change the SYSTEM.
So we express our frustration, in different ways, with our families, with the audist organizations, with the schools, by acting out, protesting, etc. Instead of understanding the reason behind our actions, we are labeled as “angry”.
Although I’m sure there are plenty of successful Deaf people, the chances that a CI recipient will be successful are higher than those of Deaf people. That’s just the way the world spins.
Sorry, I’m an advocate for an environment that respects the whole child, one that doesn’t resort to invasive procedures and intensive training in order to fit children to an unattainable ideal. The CI doesn’t fit that — you are reflecting a mistaken idea of success, and exactly what we’re all referring to here.
Mistaken idea of success? You’re saying that having a nearly perfect speech, varsity letters from high school sports, and acceptance to a top ten public university in the nation is a “mistaken idea of success”? If so, you’re really gonna hate me when I put myself out there in the real world as an advocate for CI recipients, especially since I’m studying in a medical field.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against the Deaf world. I personally believe that whenever parents find out that their child is deaf, they should be presented with the options of either raising their child through ASL alone, both ASL and oral (w/CI), or oral (w/CI) alone. It should be up to the parents to make the decision, for if they waited until the child was 18 to allow him/her to make the choice, it would then be too late to have the full affect of either one of those choices.
If I’m getting this right, y’all believe that every deaf baby should be raised through ASL in order to “conserve the Deaf culture”. Well, if the parents are hearing, they would have no idea what the Deaf culture is like, hence implanting their kid with the CI. If the parents are Deaf, they would most likely raise their child in their Deaf world. I don’t have a problem with the latter, so you guys shouldn’t have a problem with my parents wanting me to be in their world that they know.
Who decided that having “near-perfect” speech meant success? I’m sure it wasn’t you–it was people around you. According to “your” definition, I would be a failure. I choose not to speak, I was a mediocre athlete, and I’m a college dropout. Didn’t stop me from being a mother, a cartoonist, and a publisher. That’s the fallacy of using oneself as an example, because the actual definition of success is an individual one.
I strongly believe in honoring children for who they are. Invasive procedures and rigorous training has no business in this. ASL is one of the least-invasive and respectful options out there in communicating with deaf children. It’s accessible even to the deafblind, and is used by people regardless of ability.
Children want to please those who they love. We have a responsibility to respect that, to not take advantage of it for our own purposes. I wish more parents would realize that.
So we obviously have differing views on “success”, which is understandable since we grew up differently. I honestly don’t think neither one of us are wrong when it comes to what we think is best for the children. Yes, ASL is non-invasive, but it’s also limiting (whether you like it or not) in the real world. CI is invasive, but it’s not nearly as limiting (once again, whether you like it or not). Just depends on what you want your kids to have.
I once went to a panel with several different people on it. The CI implantee was very eager to share about her experience, but she was interrupted by a dying battery. She had to stop talking because she couldn’t hear herself. The DeafBlind ASL signer on the panel didn’t have a problem.
The point is a language that makes use of the senses that are working just fine. From this strong foundation kids are free to rocket wherever they want to go.
CI – Please keep this in mind: CI is simply a tool, enabling one to “hear.” ASL is a real language. Thus, CI recipients are more likely to spend a considerable time in speech therapy & AVT rather than moving on with real education like ASL users. Please google “Martha’s Vineyard + deaf” and you’ll see that sign language could be a positive thing for hearing people. :)
CI is merely a sign that our society isn’t creative or willing to adapt to different methods of communication. I’ve seen a quote somewhere that we’re not actually disabled, it’s our society that disables us. Meaning our society does not respect our differences and unique characteristics (think of eugenics, scary, isn’t it?). Sounds like you’re following our society’s blueprint of what’s superior: hearing white men. ;)
I once had a deaf kid in my physics class who’s interpreter didn’t show up to class. Thankfully, he had us HEARING kids in the class to write down notes for him.
Your point?
“From this strong foundation kids are free to rocket wherever they want to go.”
I don’t think Deaf kids can go anywhere they want to. For instance, what if there aren’t any ASL interpreters at an event full of hearing people? Surely, they can go, but they can only lip-read so much.
The technology is limiting. What happens when it fails? Your access to your chosen language is instantly cut off. The kid you mention still has his language, he’s got the framework in place. The situation warrants adapting, so he adapted. Nothing wrong with that.
Jen is right — the CI is a tool. One of many tools. Problems happen when it’s heralded as the ONLY way and everything else is “limiting.” Studies have shown that the CI works best in those who have strong visual skills — so you ARE lipreading with the CI. What’s the difference? It’s a very tiring task, and there’s certainly more to life than that!
Focus on what children have, and work with that. Let them live life, instead of training them to experience life a specific way.
Haha, I’m actually not lipreading. I hear things that my friends can’t. You’re right, it’s a tool, and I’m so glad I have it rather than ASL.
Plus, I wouldn’t expect you guys to understand. I’ve been on both sides, and I like hearing better. Have you?
Peace out.
“The other side”? I sure have. I grew up with hearing aids and underwent speech therapy. I was a candidate for a cochlear implant but my family decided against it because I have too much hearing. Don’t assume you know everything about “the other side,” and I will do the same as well.